We’ve Moved!

We’ve relocated back to www.MagazineBLU.com.

The Publisher’s Blog is specifically located here.

See you there!!

On Being a (Single) Parent

Egads.

My children are “almost grown,” in that the eldest is almost 19 and the youngest is 14. I was starting to think, “We’re home free,” as nobody is on drugs, all of them are relatively healthy, they survived divorce (although there are definitely some aspects of the agreements that I would change in a “do over”), they are well-rounded individuals, and all-in-all all of the kids are going to be responsible, intelligent, compassionate adults with bright futures, families of their own, and (hopefully) great loves in their seemingly unmarred hearts.

That is, I was starting to think, “We’re home free.”

Three weeks or so ago my youngest was accidentally stabbed in the ear drum with a pencil. ER visit and a little temporary loss of hearing later, all is back to normal.

Around that same time, my younger daughter – the almost 17 year-old – was put on a heart monitor.

After some fearful times, I thought all was smooth sailing.

That is, until my almost 19 year-old daughter was in a major, major car accident. She is fine now, having gone through treatment for a concussion and some brain swelling. But, she unfortunately was hit at high impact by a car driven by a grandmotherly lady who had been spun out of control by one of my daughter’s male friends.

The boy (driver of car 1) was using his cell phone while driving at very high speed. He hit his friend’s grandmother’s car, spinning her out of control. She hit my daughter’s truck (which, incidentally my daughter worked and paid for in cash, on her own – I was so proud of her, for that). Due to that secondary impact, the poor elderly, unsuspecting woman was killed.

My daughter will be fine, physically. But, as a parent, I’m so incredibly broken up over this right now. I feel so terribly for the woman’s family. I feel terribly for my daughter, too, as she must not only (most likely) testify in what I can assume will be manslaughter charges against her young friend (again, an assumption per the circumstances), but she will very likely suffer some major PTSD from the accident, itself.

I’ve been through PTSD myself, before. I know that every noise while she is sleeping will likely trigger a flashback to the accident, as her sleeping brain will register, “car impact” for sudden noises. That, added to the fact that at age 19 she has already witnessed – and participated by proxy – in the death of someone else, and I am so fearful.

I am afraid of the road ahead, “survivor’s guilt,” and everything else associated with this situation that may not even crop up until she is older. She is such a sweet, golden-hearted girl. So, I know she will be affected, somehow. That hurts my heart.

What is worse is that she knew the woman who was killed.

I’ve been emotional all day, kind of “all over the place” with some tears. I’m not ashamed to admit that. It is a dramatic situation. Part of me is just so overwhelmed by how close this call was…I could have lost her.

We are so incredibly lucky she was not killed. Thank goodness for seat belts and drivers who wear them. Thank goodness she wasn’t driving some cute little convertible I had wanted to buy her.

Out of all of this, I know there is a good lesson. She has seen firsthand what recklessness can do (courtesy the boy), in the snap of a moment. She will likely always carry this lesson with her. I am hopeful that she will thus be a responsible, careful and safe driver because of this week’s occurrence.

As a parent, I can only say that getting that message that this had happened was the biggest nightmare of all. Your heart drops to your feet and you automatically think you have lost that little person you created…and even in knowing the child is okay, you become ever more aware that there is that potential that your well-formed, mature, responsible, healthy young adult is not safer because they have grown up well. Indeed, the risks loom ever larger as they are set free into the world of adulthood.

Selfishly, it also made me acutely aware of how hard such things are to take when you must shoulder them alone. It is rare that I feel the true need to have someone in my life. Generally, it is an almost frivolous, occasional “want.” Today, a partner to hold my hand through this would have been so welcome.

But, as single parents – no matter the age of our children – we brace ourselves, hold steady, and pretend we are stronger than we really are. I don’t think that we do that just for our children’s peace of mind that “Mom can handle it,” but just as much for ourselves, to bear the weight that was originally designed for the shoulders of two.

Keep your young ones safe as long as you can, and don’t forget to tell them you love them every time you see or speak to them. You never know…

Seeking Charitable Causes: Nominate One!

We have decided to give a nod to local charitable organizations in each city of a 2010 Magazine BLU Launch Event!

To make this happen, we will need your help. We need nominations and suggestions of which charities or organizations should be the beneficiary of our sponsored events. To nominate, simple check out our city list, below. If your city is listed, leave a comment at the end of this post to tell us which bona fide (registered nonprofit) cause should receive the funds.

If your suggestion is used, we’ll list your name as one of the co-donors! So, ensure you provide your name and email address for the suggestion comment.

Here is the city list:

Anchorage
Albuquerque/Santa Fe
Atlanta
Austin
Baltimore
Birmingham
Boston
Charlotte
Chicago
Cleveland/Cincinatti/Columbus
Dallas
Denver
Des Moines
Detroit
Honolulu
Houston
Indianapolis
Jacksonville/St. Augustine
Kansas City
Las Vegas
Little Rock
Los Angeles
Louisville
Memphis/Nashville
Milwaukee
Miami
Minneapolis
New Orleans
New York
Omaha
Philadelphia
Phoenix
Portland
Raleigh
Salt Lake City
San Diego
San Francisco
Seattle
Shreveport
St. Louis
Toronto
Tulsa/Oklahoma City
Washington DC

We look forward to your suggestions!

~ BLU

Get Techie with BLU!

There is nothing better than hearing other experts report what we have been working toward popularizing, since 2003! This is an exciting time for us, one wherein marketers and advertisers are finally “getting” our hungry demographic, that of single male and female affluents.

In an article on CNet today, Candace Lombardi reported the following:

When it comes to owning lots and lots of the latest consumer-electronics devices, the single adult males living in the U.S. and Canada have only one rival … the single adult females, according to a study by Forrester Research.

Thank you, Candace!

Yes, it is true. Our demo averages $108,000 income per year, $66,000 of which they happily spend on consumer goods, services, travel, and philanthropy. They are hungry, hungry, hungry for an outlet for this spending…

…and so we are BLU!

Have a great day, as you listen to your iPod and tap on your laptop.

Event Planners for Mag BLU Cities: Phase 3 of 6

Well…despite an extremely irritating tech outage of phones and internet this evening (also t.v…but that is more personal luxury, isn’t it?), I am SO very pleased to announce the newest round of awardees of the Magazine BLU Launch Events Planner RFP Process.

So pleased!!

Congrats to the following:

• Seattle: Ginger Gray of GB Special Events Design Studio
• Portland: Judy Henrichs of Motivagent
• Shreveport (my family’s “heritage” home town!): Shelley Pigeon Rote of Signature Destination Management
• Louisville: Carre Tucker of Unique Hospitality
• Washington DC: Terry Singleton of CCP Events, Inc
• Raleigh: Terry Singleton of CCP Events, Inc

Preferred Partnerships (for planning of additional events in the realm of social and fashion) go to the following:

• Seattle: Lynne Walker of The Last Detail
• Seattle: Sandra Watson of Go 2 Girl Event Planning
  
• Portland: Matthew Weber of A Swank Affair
• Portland: Kristina South of Ooh La La Events
• Portland: Jeri Callaway of A Moment to Remember

• Shreveport Fashion Events: Tambria Bell of Exquisite Event Planning
• Shreveport Social Events:  Tiffany Yochum of Cinderella Events

• Louisville: Sharon Bell of Memorable Celebration
• Lexington (Derby/Social): All Occasions Events

• Washington DC & National Sporting:  Anne Frenette Company
• Washington DC Social: Maria Costello of Naturally Chic Events
• Washington DC Fashion: Rachael Glaws of RGI Events & PR

• Raleigh Fashion: Kimberly Davis & William Davis of Individual Expressions
• Raleigh Social: Kate Foster of Kate Foster Productions
• Raleigh Social: Erin McLean of Erin McLean Events

Be sure to check out the results for Round 1 and Round 2, as well!

Found Those “Happy Cows”

Quite the real estate, these cows graze upon!

We have all seen the commercials for those “Happy Cows” from California. During my long, intense drive from Philadelphia to the West Coast for this move of Magazine BLU (and thus, my personal life), I kept wondering, “Are the cows out there really that happy?” I just couldn’t fathom anywhere being so exceptional for a cow that they would give a blade of grass about where they graze.

Yeah, well…I found those happy cows. They’re pretty darn fat and happy, alright. I took some photos, so I thought I would share.

Pt. Reyes: A happy place for people, too!

These particular happy Californians are of the pre-Victorian ranches of Pt. Reyes. In fact, some of their dairy farms are quietly celebrating their 150th year of operations! In looking at the photos of their pastoral lands, perhaps you can see why any cow would choose to call Pt. Reyes “home.”

Have a great weekend!

~ BLU (a.k.a., the Happy Mag of California…and beyond)

Proud Mama

I have to be a proud Mama, for a moment. I rarely write of my children, as I hold them so closely in my heart and really measure how I put them “out there.” We’ve been through so much together, through living in varied countries, the extremes of Alaska, extensive travel, and tons of giggles. There have been frightening times, too – such as our Philadelphia condo break-in by four individuals – during which we have been brought closer together, as our strength was tested and joint fears overcome through our own collective will “to defend and protect.”

My current “proud moment” started about a week or so ago, when my eldest (Emmy, age 18) emailed me to ask for my input on her resume. In working on that little project, I noted that she already has four years of solid work history. She purchased her own cars and is graduating from high school a year earlier than expected.  So pleased.

Apparently, this was forever ago?

My second daughter, Allie (age 17), is balancing college coursework with high school.

Then, my son emailed me his “first book” to edit. He is 13 (soon to be 14), so naturally I assumed this “first book” would be haphazard paragraphs without real structure.

I was dead wrong.

This “first book” is 115 pages of plotline, intrigue and structured dialogue! It is a fiction piece for adolescent males, one about a kind of “parallel universe” and the growth and development of a pre-pubescent male character (not human). He wants to self-publish and distribute online, through national chain bookstore .coms.

What the…?

Where did these ambitious souls come from?

I had been so concerned about my little man (whom I call “Mister B”), as he was going through that inevitable “Ugly Duckling” phase we all hated so much. Remember that: Age Thirteen? Ugh. It was murder, wasn’t it?

Only months ago, he was suddenly lacking his regular confidence and joie d’vivre. I kept thinking, “Don’t lose him, Kimberly…do whatever it takes to keep his head above water and confidence growing with his gawky body.”

I spoke to him yesterday, and he now has three young ladies vying for his attention.

My boy (the apparent “writer”) is back! Only now, his voice is much deeper and he is more of a young man.

In going through divorce, we all worry about the affect that the action of the parents will have upon the development of the children. I agonized, myself. I was lucky in one respect, that being that my father is a highly reputable pediatrician who kept telling me, “Don’t worry, Kimberly. Children are far more resilient than the parents.”

He was right.

So, I’m taking this “Proud Mama” moment to reflect on all that is 2009. Business is fantastic. I am fantastic and loving California. My children – the future photographer, the young collegian, and the writer who aspires to be a scientist – are apparently fantastic. I don’t think things could be better, in this single lady’s life.

Now, I just have to figure out when I can set aside the time to edit these 115 pages of the “final draft.” He is already working on book two in the series, so I better get a move on…

More City Launch Event Planners Announced!

I'm ready to toast the launch of BLU...are you?

Many thanks to all of the amazing planning firms who submitted outstanding proposals! We appreciate the efforts of all involved.

The primary Launch Events are awarded as listed, for the calendar year of 2010 (and annually, thereafter). “Preferred Partners” will be called upon to handle our other events, such as fashion shows, sporting sponsorships (equestrian/golf tourneys, etc), searches for Intriguing Singles, and general social events in their corresponding market(s).

Again, thank you to all! We look forward to some amazing events!

• San Francisco
  Launch Event: California Host
  Preferred Partners: ABCey/Excel Meetings & Events (as a unified approach per event)
  Preferred Partner: Atlas International
• Austin
  Launch Event: Hiyah! Productions & Big Green House Presents
  Preferred Partner – Social Programs: Focus On Events
  Preferred Partner – Fashion Programs: Event Planners of Texas
• Houston
  Launch Event: Focus On Events
  Preferred Partner:  Simply Jubilee
• Dallas
  Launch Event: BrightBlue Marketing
  Preferred Partner – Fashion Programs: Structure Events
  Preferred Partners – Social Programs: Significant Events & Parties to Remember
• Atlanta
  Launch Event: AW Media
  Preferred Partner – Fashion Programs (Florida & Georgia): CLM & Associates
  Preferred Partner – Social Programs: Allure Event & Meeting Productions
  Preferred Partner: Carey Communications
• Denver
  Launch Event: California Host
  Preferred Partner – Davis Events, Momentous Happenings & BrightBlue Marketing
• Salt Lake City
  Launch Event: BIG Events, Inc
• Miami
  Launch Event: Comcor Events
  Preferred Partner: Events by CLM
• St. Augustine (Jacksonville)
  Launch Event: Comcor Events
  Preferred Partner: Destination Planning Corporation
  

Dating is Like a Box of…

…I will let you finish the sentence. I’m not thinking “chocolates,” today.

I very rarely write about my personal life, here. But, I need to say something. It has bothered me ALL day long, and will fester if I don’t “spill it.” It is not in line with the typical editorial style of a diversionary publication, so I won’t assign it out to a writer. Instead, I’ll just be direct.

I humored dating a gentleman for about a week and a half. Stop laughing, as it was a seriously long and intense week and a half.

During that time, I was very fully reminded of just how abusive relationships can be, and how quickly one can become sucked into the vortex that is verbal, emotional, and quite possibly physical abuse.

It felt like a couple of months. I’m exhausted.

It starts with them insisting you feel things – and should speak sentiments – that you don’t feel, yet. They “pad” their negative past behaviors (and the expectation of them presenting, again) by saying things like, “I’m sometimes domineering.” They instruct on how to cater to their abuses, as if additional flaring is your fault, for not reacting to their insanity appropriately. It progresses into a pattern of restriction and reward, as if they have the right to administer either.

The scariest restrictions? With this one, there was one that haunted me, spoken with a myriad of others:

You will have no air to breathe, without my permission.

It escalated at mach speed, from there. All of these escalations occurred swiftly, within 24 hours, so as to ensure that I didn’t have time to evaluate, clear my head, regroup, or object. It was a blitzkreig, of trying to wear down my spirit and soul. When mixed with nightly 2 a.m. and 6:30 or 7 a.m. phone calls, as well as continual contact throughout the day, my exhausted body led to a weaker resolve and disorganized fight for myself.

Many of these sociopathic souls are masters of language and poetic style. This one is an Assistant Attorney General, no less. He used flowery sentiment and volume that varied from a mere whisper to a booming yell to intimidate. He cross-examined me and verbally pushed me into a corner, by trying to turn my clean, happy, pretty life into a tragic tale that he then threw back in my face as concise blows. He tried to make me feel like I was a pile on the sidewalk under his shoe.

It didn’t take.

I am extremely glad that I had the wherewithal to burst the “romantic bubble” (and yes, there is always a highly romantic side, to really woo you in and create that rationalization of, “I’m imagining things” or “Oh, but he is so sweet”), as despite being aware that the other person had abusive tendencies on an intellectual level, I started to slip into “making excuses for him” mode.

No matter how secure and confident a person is, we all have equal ability to find ourselves victimized, if we are not experienced, or allow it to happen. So then, I guess we cannot call ourselves “victims” if we ignore and go willingly into the dark abyss. I could have easily ignored the signs, but life and experience quickly ushered me out. I am by no means graceful when ending volatile relationships, as I have enough emotional boo-boos from such situations in the past that my sheer will to survive and psyche will overpower my mouth, to ensure the proverbial coffin is nailed shut on a bad relationship.

That happened by phone at 2 a.m. today. His choice of timing, of course.

I was worthless at work, as my head is tired and the other person decided to “rebutt” my dramatic exit in truly “dominant” style. At least, they wanted to feel dominant. They wanted to feel like a winner.

Meanwhile, I felt like a horrid, negative, bad person to have dug in with both heels and said, “Don’t let the door hit you.” I actually allowed myself to – for just a few hours – feel like a bad person. I felt guilty. I felt maybe I was too judgmental and dramatic.

But, you know what?

I’m solidly patting myself on the back, for not succumbing to the spell. At 2 a.m., despite being half-asleep, I can be just as stubborn, strong, and intense as the next guy. The difference is that I am still sweet enough to only use those powers in self-preservation.

It is one of my objectives in life and as part of Magazine BLU to eventually find an outlet for financial support of programs of domestic violence, or to ultimately create a program for women who somehow didn’t pick up on the signals and get out in time, particularly women of affluence through marriage or the relationship (as they often become puppets without financial control, despite Louis Vuitton handbags and Jimmy Choo’s).

In the world of affluence, such abuse often involves strict adherence to a dress code that presents a “perfect” image to the world. These abusers of financial independence often want their victims to look like princesses. Yet these women who look like royalty on the outside may have no money in their wallet, nor car in their name, nor control over spending.

On top of that, men of great perceived power (i.e., my Assistant Attorney General, for goodness’ sakes) or reputation in business are sometimes the abusers. How small can a woman feel, when wanting to yell, “Help,” when they are being victimized by someone with greater social power? I will tell you how small…

How do I know this? Well, because when this happened to me years ago – and yes, I will go against “business expectations” and admit it did quite violently happen when I was newly divorced – I was turned away from every resource for gaining assistance to “get out.” Even my church turned me away, saying, “Surely you know someone in this town.” I was told I had too many options in life to be considered for programs – such as legal assistance – that I needed in order to get away from and prosecute the person who tried to overpower me.

Even attractive women, pretty women, and women of affluence or occupational means might need help, when fleeing with nothing at 2 a.m. There is a gap in the system that women of “intelligence and means” can fall through, into suicide, homelessness, and complete desperation. I want that gap closed.

When a family flees a house fire in only their pajamas in the middle of the night, firefighters put a blanket around them to protect them from the cold night air. A fireman doesn’t stop and evaluate, “Are those Ralph Lauren pajamas” in order to determine if the half-naked person is worthy of a blanket. They treat all fire victims equally, without face-value assessment. Why doesn’t the social service system provide the same care, in the situation of domestic (dating and marital) violence?

I’m throwing this out to the world now, as last night and all of today I was reminded of the cunning skill of these abusive personalities. I think it was a little reminder that, as Magazine BLU moves forward along its happy and productive path, we must maintain a social conscience.

I am open to suggestion on how we can help within this area of focus. Try me. My eyes are wide open.

Drum Roll, Please!

I'm ready to toast the launch of BLU...are you?

Well, it is official: Magazine BLU is ready to announce the first round of our Launch Event RFP awardees! The following companies are the official planners of the corresponding cities’ parties, to occur throughout 2010:

• New York City: Steffan Group
• Philadelphia: JP Event Design
• Chicago: Revel Global Events
• Boston: Corinthian Events
• Las Vegas: California Host
• San Diego: Atlas International
• Los Angeles: Access DMC, with PMK/HBH
• New Orleans: Pinnacle Events
• Miami: Pending further review*
• St. Augustine: Pending further review*

Congratulations to all of the above companies, for your winning proposals and our exciting future!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Additional companies have been added to our listing of providers, for upcoming Magazine BLU events in their respective markets, such as our searches for Intriguing Singles, fashion events, varied cocktail parties, etc. They are :

• Boston: Altieri Events and Proven Productions
• Chicago: McGowan Durpetti and Bright Blue Marketing
• NYC (and additional markets): Celestial Events, as entertainment providers
• Los Angeles: Fresh Wata and Skybox Events

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you to all of the wonderfully creative companies who submitted ideas and proposals for our exciting launch events. Additional city providers will be announced soon, on rolling deadlines. The next markets to be announced are:

• Miami / Jacksonville (St. Augustine): March 25
• San Francisco: April 1
• Austin: April 1
• Atlanta: April 1
• Dallas: April 1
• Denver: April 1
• Houston: April 1

*Announcement of Florida cities is pending additional review. Award should occur by March 25, 2009. Additional time is required, not due to the quality of current submissions, but due to an internal miscommunication regarding the deadline.